and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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