The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
