New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
This is the high leading the old right now
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize