Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
