spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I think I sprained my soul last night
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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