He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
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