Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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