Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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