Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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