He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
