Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you had me at cake vodka
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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