i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
