Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
