My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
