she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the day after is always just damage control
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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