Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
