Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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