what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
