we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
