i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
