Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
