i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize