Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
