is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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