your parents love me but you hate me
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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