12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
