i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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