its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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