hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize