I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
