she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
