You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I think a kid would responsible me up
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
