Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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