I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
