double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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