It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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