i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
