i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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