my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
