And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
