That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
