he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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