allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
