whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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