It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
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