exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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