this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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