How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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