Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
