if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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