We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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