Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
