elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
