remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
