I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
