Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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