i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
