Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
